In scrolling through the daily happenings here in the blogosphere, I was brought across a blog written by a lovely individual who just got into face sitting with her submissive. I was originally expecting to read an erotic story or something similarly sexy, as I was just clicking about, but it seems the article was simply an update of an exploration of a recent bottom that she had topped by sitting on their face. When I thought of the implications of someone sitting on someone else face, an act that could basically be construed as being submissive, I realized that I had very differing feelings on the subject.
I, myself, am into forced orgasm play – which many people don’t seem to identify with until explained. I guess its really just knowing that I can make my partner feel a certain way through actions that has a huge amount of power in it of itself. I was originally turned on to this subject by an ex-girlfriend I had who just loved giving head. She wasn’t exceptional about it, but still nevertheless love it as it was a way for her to be of service and make her partner feel good. It was kind of funny in retrospect as she wasn’t particularly kinky and that’s essentially what broke up the relationship. I was way too far out in my interests and endeavors while she was just the opposite considering basic sexing with the lights on a super kinky night.
For me, if I make someone sit on my face, its because I want to take the power of making them feel good. I am then placed in what some cultures would consider a demeaning position, physically underneath a woman. This is not however a position of subservience for me. It is one of power. Being able to hold onto the hips of a lover and make them cum is such am empowering feeling as I am giving them the gift of feeling amazing.
I guess in a way, this is the female equivalent of face fucking. Giving my partner joy in this way is a very special thing to me and one that I feel surpasses the simple “let me tell you what to do” kink thing that so many submissives and dominants fall into these days. Don’t take this the wrong way, I do not care what your kink looks like in comparison to mine. Everyone’s individual set of kinks and how they play out looks different from person to person, but this shows the much more subtle power exchange within a relationship. It shows the very nuts and bolts of the thing as more of a consequentialist view on kink, in which the ends justify the means. Maybe when looking to how things impact others, we can find that there is a lot more to the actions we take in life than just the basal meaning.
What do you think? Does face-sitting and other situations which place tops or doms in traditionally subservient positions degrade power exchange?
Or does it all depend on the motive of the action? Or maybe the result?