Diagnosis: Kinky As Fuck

As I don’t feel especially partial to writing some tongue-in-cheek post about random shit that can fuck people up, this post is going to get into my social justice warrior side and all the 4chan assholes can go cum in a cup.

neckbeards

So on to the real shit:

Mental health issues in kink are not new. In fact, some would go so far as to argue that kink is a mental illness.

Think that this is far fetched? Sadly, we kinksters have had a long history of being diagnosed and scrutinized in the terms of the abnormal. There are pretty severe consequences from the negativity biases of kinky sex. In the past few years there was an arrest focusing on a pretty popular man in the bondage scene in Australia called ‘The Wolf.’

The Wolf is a primal player who was accused of rape by a young woman he had met through his huge following. The way his methods worked were definitely dubious. He had built up a following of women who really just wanted to have sex with him and have him ‘hunting’ them to experience the thrill of the chase and further to have some really rough and wild sex. These videos were pretty huge on Fetlife. The saddest part is that I have no idea if he indeed raped this woman, nor will we until the court case is decided, but I can say it is pretty awful that the BDSM community so highly revered such a man when this kind of thing was going on. People would seek him out for an experience that he was later arrested for, which shows the stark contrast of the view that the community has towards one of their own who has been publically ridiculed. It is now a very taboo thing to discuss and honestly causes me a bit of anxiety to make this post discussing his case. The reason that I feel this deserves some coverage here on kink hard is because this is a prime example of how BDSM can turn to a stigmatized pathology.
Where The Wolf was revered for many years for the things he did, and the style in which he did it. People now cringe at the mention of his name or his “cult like” supporters as his name has become all but synonymous with rape.

The stigma that surrounds the things that we do in the kinky world is displayed prominently here. It can really be seen if you run through the media frenzy around it and see the shaming of our personal sexual preferences in every facet from feminist blogs and literature to popular magazines. It is very interesting to me that the media focuses so negatively on a majority of these aspects but only niche blogs focus on the sex positive nature of kink in clinical terms.

A dominatrix humiliates a man on the couch
The New Yorker gets me…

I believe this is due to the inherent belief that being kinky is a mental illness.

While this is all based in the idea that there is a significant subset of mental illnesses related to sexual issues, it by no means connects the two. That being said, I did find some interesting stuff in relation to mental illnesses in which people want to be hit or cause significant injury to others (sexual masochism disorder and sexual sadism disorder, in turn). These both have a very certain criteria, of which involve non-consenting parties or significant impediment to your life.

The issue is that mental health practitioners who are faced with a person with these proclivities are faced with splitting cunt hairs around the semantics in the DSM. They get to define what is unhealthy or maladaptive for the client, rather than allowing the person to do so. This is how people get branded with these disorders and other paraphilic disorders. I personally find these hellishly interesting as they are proof to me that the way we are aroused and process sexual stimuli is very dependent on the specific neurological wiring that we may (or may not) have.

So what’s the point?

What it really comes down to is that society tells us that we are wrong, deviant humans and basically are disordered for such a thing. Obviously any therapist worth their shit will resist slapping a label on people but it is a significant potential as just 35 or so years ago, homosexual personality disorder was still a viable diagnosis. So its easy to see how people can get stuck in the box of ‘sexual deviant’ of which the consequences can follow people for life.

The societally drawn boundaries eventually drawn into law, which then translate into making peoples bedroom activities into crimes. A great example of this is seen in the UK. They banned face-sitting, fisting, specific impact play, water sports, breath play and female ejaculation from streaming porn sites. This stems from the belief that the rule of law is based on what is right or wrong in the eyes of society.

Facesitting is not a crime
A woman proudly sits atop a face in front of the houses of parliament just following the implementations of new laws

Are our kinks to be judged and categorized?

Where do we draw the lines?

We cant accept everyone’s kinks as some are truly consent violations and give us all a bad name. There are legal lines that are drawn, but does this make them more valid than the societal lines that are drawn to protect people.

Where does the counterculture fit into the rule of law?

When do these societally drawn boundaries begin to infringe upon everyday people who do this kind of stuff as responsibly as possible?

 

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