What is this Kinky?

When browsing through the blogosphere on this beautiful sunday I stumbled upon this article, which poses the question: What does it mean to identify as kinky?Samuel L Jackson is also kinky

This is a really great question for ponderance when looking for what it
means to be a part of the counterculture that we know as kink. When I think about how I identify myself and my sexual proclivities I never really stop to wonder what it actually means  to identify as kinky. I guess this comes from being around it so much that it has become a quinnessential part of my lifestyle.

Interestingly enough, the same article talks at great length about coming out as kinky, but for me this is not something that is mutually exclusive. Largely this is because it is one of those things that is really not societally accepted. As I make my way through this world, attempting to be professional and such, I am faced with having to hide myself and my desires so as I do not compromise myself in the eyes of my colleauges. It largely reminds me of the issues that people have with mental health disorders. They can disclose to their bosses and co-workers but it may harm them in the long run. Being kinky can even be seen as a diagnosis in and of itself.

Yet I digress, what does it mean to identify as kinky?

To me it means that you are acknowledging that you are into some shit that others aren’t into. At least at some level, people who are kinky are a part of the counterculture. It is no longer just a certain type of feeling that they have or fantasy that is occasionally brought out of the closet to play with, but identifying as a kinky mother fucker (or just a kinky fucker if incest isn’t your jam) is an acceptance of kink being a part of you that others may not really share.

One of the best parts about kink in my opinion is that there is a large focus 10-26 156on individuality, at least in theory. I won’t get into the delicious hypocracy that is available to shred within the community but at face value the community extends this idea of radical acceptance. They say that one’s kinks are their own and they love people through them no matter what. While this can cause some serious upsets on  the public stage, it’s not “supposed” to be this way. Instead it is supposed to be an open sexual forum with which to engage with like minded individuals.

I guess in answer to the question at hand, to be kinky is to accept that you like things outside of the norm. Further, it can be about community. Being kinky sets you up within the kink community to find others and discuss very similar aspects of fetish and kinkery. In some senses one could say there are two versions of kink – the verb and the adjective.

I can kink on the weekends. Or I can have really kinky sex.

For me, this is what it comes down to but is not the alpha and omega. There are tons of options and ways to look at things when it comes down to how we define our own sexual proclivities.

I’d love to hear what my readers see as identifying their kink. Leave me a comment or write a scathing response blog and Ill be sure to be a dick in your comments section.

I guess Ill explore some later. Until then –

Kink hard. Kink Often.

Who is down to fuck shit up?

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