I have recently been inspired to write this as I am not sure about anyone else but my experience in any sort of community has been that of finding people with like minds, pruning off the douche bags then finding people to which my douchery matches theirs.
Really the only thing I am looking for within my community is those whose douche levels are within tolerable limits for my circumstances. Granted people’s asshole nature change very regularly and the situations also fluctuate with no abandon for my personal welfare.
In my journey of learning to kink hard – I have found that there are some people whom I truly hate. Those who deeply and thououghly rub me the wrong way. These people can come in any form but I have found them to be most profound in the areas of extremes.
Extreme newbies (or n00bz) – often grating to the nerves as they want it all and already know everything. There are people who then hop all over them and scoop up the newcomers. These are often found at the young people’s munches or in related groups as they troll their nets for young attractive females/males. These people may already know everything there is to know and honestly think they can teach these kiddos something about being their slave or sub. There are also people on the sub side who try to scoop up the tops that they find the most attractive thing that they can latch onto. Either way – run.
The experienced people – Those whom take great pride in their work even when they aren’t prepared to give up their masterful minds. Almost a bit too much pride. So much so that they end up hurting people and making more friends than enemies. These people may make things up and “create” new stuff all the while skipping the basics and forgetting about the basics of consent and other fun things that make them rape-ily inclined. These are the dangerous ones, but it takes all types, I guess.
The professionals – often referred to as “Fet famous”, very much like experienced masterful control of their disciplines but they travel about getting paid for it! I’m not hating, if that’s your bag of rice, then eat it up! It’s just that these types can be very difficult as they can do horrible things and get away with them relatively easily as they hide behind their fame. Though there are good people who teach, others get power drunk and go a little bonkers with their fame or infamy, when all it really takes is being pretty and knowledgeable.
The Domly Doms – another category of douchery. These are the ones that are apt to forget that they aren’t playing a game between two (or more if that’s your jam) people. They tend to take everything pretty damn serious. It’s often these that can easily turn into abusers or generally just cunts. It’s critical for this type to not be seen as being the scared little boys and girls that they are inside – so they overcompensate in a big way.
The lovestruck couple – these two are the ones who just discovered kink or have just discovered each other. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this class of people, but they can get obnoxious when your trying to not be a third wheel and they keep raping you into their tricycle.
The average Joe – this is a sly beast. He is usually one of the types that is seen at the club perving on scenes and usually keeps to themselves. Also the usual culprit for sending creepy FetLife and Facebook messages asking to see more skin or if one would just like to chat. Usually these people put themselves in the scene so that they can be near the action but not necessarily partake.
Swinger types – these have a subcategory of kinky hipsters. These are the types that really aren’t kinky in the traditional sense (or maybe far too traditionally). Often seen when an average Joe and an equally average other person get together and just kind of want to fuck. They also like to share and are often found in the wild unicorn hunting. Also if you do find a hipster Kinkster you can usually tell when you ask for their favorite type of play and they say “Oh you’ve probably never heard of it…”
Denizens of private kinkery – ahh yes, these are the most elusive of the kinkery kingdom as they are very difficult to come by except on special occasions or if they are just starting out. I have mostly moved my play to private stuff, because sex clubs are expensive, but these people are often like your Facebook feed – homogeneous. Everyone shares the same opinions and generally they don’t hang out with a terribly diverse group. Either way, definitely worth an honorable mention.
Welp theres my list.
Now fuck everyone, gnite.
Oh and kink hard